November 4 at 6:36pm ·
People who stop going to meetings, stop going to meetings.
“There is a common belief that people who discontinue attending
AA are doomed to relapse, but our research says that isn’t necessarily so.
Some people seem to internalize the 12-Step program and continue to live it even if they are not attending meetings regularly.” -William Miller
- Janet , Marc , Tom and 8 others like this.
Scott K I believe that there are people that need meetings as a reminder, but then there are people that can learn the program. Change their life and live the program every day even though they aren’t going to meetings every day.
There are so many levels of recovery in my eyes, and learning how to get through the urges of using is only one part. Learning why for me was a huge part. I understand that I get urges, but figuring out WHY I got those urges was a big part in my recovery.
Everyone is different, and I wouldn’t necessarily suggest that anyone in recovery should ‘work the program’ the way that I do, but this is how it works for me.
November 4 at 6:40pm · Like · 3
Nikki D sounds legit?
November 4 at 6:45pm · Like
Pattyann H anyone ive known, who has stopped going to meetings have all picked up except one…..just my experience
November 4 at 6:56pm · Like · 3
Kate P During my 17-years in recovery I have learned that there are many ways to achieve it! I myself have had to use many pathways and move away from others. I learned one critical lesson along the way…I am not an expert on what is best for anyone other than myself.
November 4 at 6:56pm · Unlike · 6
Matthew E I’ve seen it all, I know a few who havnt been for 15 years who live well….me im doomed w/out em doomed
November 4 at 6:59pm · Like · 1
Matthew E It’s tough to help a fool , if your the only fool… Kinda
November 4 at 7:01pm · Like
Adam Sledd I have seen a lot of people use who were going to meetings too.
November 4 at 7:30pm · Like · 5
Lori B Adam, I always like reading your posts and articles. I’m always open to different ways to recover.
November 4 at 7:32pm · Unlike · 4
Robin O Dude why would u post this crap?
November 4 at 8:42pm · Like · 1
Ed F It’s not about meetings its about the process. Meeting are just the check in how you are working the process.
November 4 at 9:05pm · Like
Ken O How do they give back to the newcomer? I’m good toodles!!!! cop drop and roll
November 4 at 9:09pm · Like
Courtney K I have been in this process (12 step program) since i was 15, relapse IS a part of my story and everytime i fell short on going to meetings i picked up. Like patty said i dont know anyone who has continued to go to meetings and have worked a 12 step program thoroughly and consistantly pick up. all i can say is this, if you dont see me at meetings clearly something is going on, most likely my world is crashing down. Making meetings is the number 1 thing that keeps me vigilant in my recovery, without a doubt. Thanks for letting me share.
November 4 at 9:10pm · Like · 2
Ed F What are you stupid you check in thanks ken
November 4 at 9:11pm · Like
Adam Sledd Why would anyone take this personally? I have many friends with many different opinions. Can’t please everyone.
November 4 at 9:15pm · Like · 6
Ken O Love you too Eddie
November 4 at 9:31pm · Like
Dani R Well, we do have a tendency to worry too-goddamned-much about how others are choosing to go about their lives. That said, what works for you works for you. I respect your process. Please respect mine. The only recovery I’m responsible for is my own. If someone takes issue with how I choose to recover, they can certainly speak to their sponsor, higher power, therapist, etc.
November 4 at 9:35pm · Like · 4
Adam Sledd William White has forgotten more about recovery than all of us know. I enjoy his work.
November 4 at 9:44pm · Like · 1
Virginia K There are many paths to the same destination. If it works, I don’t fix it. I love the person I’ve become and the life I have so I’ll keep doing what has been working. I’ve also learned discernment in this process. There are people in recovery that are full of shit and people that are genuine. There are people outside of the 12 step fellowships that live a life of integrity and others that are oxygen thieves. I try to surround myself with good people, wherever they hail from.
November 5 at 1:31am · Like · 5
Holly S Didn’t work for me tho- sorry – the ity bity committee in my head takes over.
November 5 at 6:17am · Like
Adam Sledd So often these discussions turn into, “don’t tell me how to recover”. If going to meetings works for you, I wish it for you. I just enjoy reading as much as possible about recovery and questioning ideas in order to understand them better. Some of my friends also enjoy these discussions. As someone above said, if you feel threatened or offended there is a number you can call.
November 5 at 6:30am · Like · 5
Adam Sledd I love Ed Finegan and I don’t care who knows it.
November 5 at 6:36am · Like
Scott H Good discussion on here. Many of these responses prove that there is still hesitancy to accept the fact that one size does not fit all.
November 5 at 6:37am · Like · 3
Adam Sledd Blasphemy!
November 5 at 6:38am · Like · 2
Nikki D I think it pisses people off because YOU portray yourself as a poster boy for recovery and you’re just kinda shitting on everything we stand for. and or giving someone an excuse to say fuck it. that’s the way I looked at it. what you eat don’t make me fat I’m not taking it personally I just think you look contradicted and confused, in my opinion.
November 5 at 7:48am · Like · 2
Adam Sledd Why is discussing other methods of recovery considered shitting all over yours?
November 5 at 8:02am · Like · 5
Adam Sledd My public advocacy is much like your guitar playing. Just an interest of mine that I like to share with others.
November 5 at 8:04am · Like · 4
Nikki D that’s not what I said. and if that’s what you consider it, share your interests with your clients and see who has a problem with it. and don’t get mad when it causes controversy on Facebook cause I’m prettyyyy sure ya knew what it was hittin for. like I said I don’t care what you’re into, in my eyes there’s no credibility to what you say. that’s all.
November 5 at 8:09am · Like
Robin O i couldn’t agree more nikki
November 5 at 8:14am · Like · 1
Jenn M As one in early recovery (4 months & change), I appreciate the articles, the insight, & the information shared on your page, Adam.
I attend meetings (including those at my home group), meet w my sponsor, read my big book & 12&12– but am also cognizant that I’m working w literature which (while it has been effective for so many) was written by a couple of drunks in the 30s. Science has advanced since then. Treatment methods & options have changed.
I get no “fuck it” or “shitting on everything” from these observations — or, I would have hidden/de-friended you.
If someone feels threatened or that their sobriety/recovery is compromised by your sharing of information — perhaps they should do just that?
November 5 at 8:14am · Like · 5
Robin O u work in a 12 step based facility…wowwwww
November 5 at 8:16am · Like
Dani R I’m sorry that so many feel the need to attack you and point fingers at you, Adam. I’m seeing some bullying/sensing negative energy – and that doesn’t reflect well on ANY message of recovery (12 Step or other). This is precisely why I keep my distance. Keep doing you and provoking thought. You’re needed.
November 5 at 8:23am · Like · 4
November 5 at 8:26am · Like · 1 · Remove Preview
Nikki D omg. bullying? grow up. done with this thread.
November 5 at 8:30am · Like · 1
Jenn M um, that was supposed to be funny. at my meetings, we laugh a lot.
November 5 at 8:32am · Unlike · 2
Matthew E These are tender moments
November 5 at 8:37am · Unlike · 4
Adam Sledd My professional life is off limits, thank you. This is a personal page.
November 5 at 8:54am · Like · 6
November 5 at 9:30am · Unlike · 9
Jessica H I think everyone has their own experiences which is great the problem is that people are dying everyday some of those people don’t know what recovery is or that it is even possible and some know there is help out there but are afraid to change everything or follow a program .. we as recovering people shouldn’t give people another reason to not get the help they need. we should help people to feel comfortable with the help that is available and let them make their own experiences. It’s very possible some of them never have to go to meetings again but I wouldn’t want to be the one telling people they don’t have to and then watching them die without even knowing the help and beautiful life that is out there by living a new way of life .. I know personally I couldn’t do it alone and I honestly wouldn’t want to
November 5 at 9:35am · Like · 7
Jenn M For what it’s worth — I’ve never taken Adam’s shares to be read as discouraging people from going to meetings; rather, it’s been helpful & interesting to me to read about the psychology, science (since even the Big Book says there is a chemical thing going on in alcoholics) & how so much of what we know has evolved– & about how there is no ONE WAY to get/stay sober.
In my humble opinion — if someone decides they don’t need meetings any more based on reading an article, that lies with the individual (& their HP), not the article in question.
This kind of info is also helpful for those for whom meetings DON’T work & who might benefit from a different path of recovery.
November 5 at 9:43am · Like · 4
Virginia K I know as many people with long term recovery who no longer or never have gone to meetings. They recovered through church, smart recovery, rational recovery, etc.
Adam, on a personal note, you might want to use some discernment and prevent further personal attacks. If this is social (and supposed to be fun) my suggestion (not that you need to take it) is to cull the pretentious douchebags from your “friends” list. Their venom could very well find its way to your job. You are a good man and a good friend, I’d hate to see the “holier than thou” crowd harsh your mellow.
November 5 at 9:46am · Like · 5
Jessica H I just hope the people reading all this understand the help that is out there and that the 12 steps can work for them because anyone can get and stay clean .. and I hope they give it a try before they decide to write it off and just try to do it on their own. life is worth the try to do something different
November 5 at 9:55am · Like
Colleen D And this is why people should refrain from posting anything NA\AA related on Facebook. Maybe they should rewrite the 12 traditions to include Facebook etiquette. Lol this thread reflects badly on the fellowship as a whole. We all have different ways of recovering. 12 steps is what works for me, but I know it might not be the way for some people. I used to enjoy reading about other ways of recovering but then my mind started wondering and almost tricking me into thinking I don’t need the 12 steps. All I know is that the 12 steps works for me and I don’t need to figure out why. And if other recovery ways works for other people that’s cool too. Just stay clean!! Thanks for the entertainment this morning Adam ! Lol
November 5 at 10:09am · Like · 7
Megan E That’s my girl.
November 5 at 10:11am · Like · 2
Colleen D Lol you taught me well!!
November 5 at 10:12am · Like
John M Colleen Colleen Dixon…… Well SAID!!!
November 5 at 10:21am · Like · 1
Adam Sledd I enjoy reading just as you did Colleen; and I can appreciate other perspectives without subscribing to them. I will not violate traditions here but will remind you all how we met…
November 5 at 10:50am · Like · 4
John M Again…. Well said Colleen Dixon!!!!
November 5 at 10:54am · Like · 2
Doug L This whole topic consists of complaining to the converted. I may not go to enough meetings per week but when new things happen I make sure that I define it in terms of what I want. My biggest need is a ride after work and because its second shift I’m done at 11pm. Right now its like I only breath to solve that problem. Also there’s a Goddamn Miracle on the EA Message board (me).
November 5 at 11:21am · Like
Nikki D I’ve been called a lot of things in my life… pretentious asshole is not one of them loooool. I didn’t all anyone names or attack anyone personally… who is REALLY butt hurt here? thank you for the thoughts adam.
November 5 at 11:21am · Like · 2
Pat C Drugs are bad, mmkay.
November 5 at 11:22am · Unlike · 7
John M AGAIN….. Well said Colleen Dixon!!!!
November 5 at 11:27am · Like · 2
Colleen D Lol jack/ John . You’re cracking me up.
November 5 at 11:36am · Like · 1
John M You nailed it girl!!! Love you!!!
November 5 at 11:37am · Like · 1
Colleen D Love you jack. Now get
Off Facebook and get back to doing hair!! And I will too lol
November 5 at 11:38am · Like · 2
John M True Story, lmao!!!
November 5 at 11:43am · Like · 1
Richard R the IDEA is to give back what we were GIVEN..
November 5 at 11:49am · Like · 2
John K Good point. Hey I am moving to Parksburg. When I do I will or may require rides to home group.
November 5 at 11:53am · Like · 1
Ken O I don’t know how people recover in AA I misread the initial post . I agree I don’t think you need AA meetings unless your an alcoholic at least that’s what AA says in their lit I have one disease and only need one program, a drugs a drug, and our basic text says “we only keep what we have by giving it away” my experience is if your not being present what r u giving away and to who and “recovery is found in our meetings” our disease is self centered getting “yours” and rolling seems to be the height of selfishness but “who wants to deal w all that crap” well who wanted to deal w all my crap ill tell ya thank god , where would we be with out those predecessors who show up on the reg, good luck god bless to all those who ride w abstinence and not recovery experience tells me you’ll need it
just stay SOBER y’all the worlds a better place
November 5 at 12:11pm · Like · 5
John M Can’t help it… And AGAIN … Colleen Dixon…..WELLL SAIDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 5 at 12:20pm · Like · 3
John K. Adam, you ROCK!
November 5 at 12:32pm · Like · 2
Colleen D Hahjahaha John you’re such a ham and Ken thank God for all the NA hairstylists who have been there for you hair since the beginning. LOL
November 5 at 12:40pm · Like · 3
John K Do you know me?
November 5 at 1:14pm · Like
Scott K Adam, thank you for posting this and other things that you post, please keep posting them. If this is the stuff you want to share then share it. We all share our clean time. Some people get tens of likes on those posts, and sometimes hundreds. Me, on the other hand, I got 12 likes on my 3 year post (5 people from the rooms).
This is why I stopped going to meetings. Being ignored, accused of relapse, and someone saying to me “I am surprised that you are still clean.” I was being ignored. I am sure this has to do with the depression that I was showing. I find it strange that people have admitted to seeing this depression and being surprised that I made it through it, yet those people did not approach me, check up on me, or even send me a text message.
Meetings aren’t for everyone, and they obviously aren’t for people that suffer from severe depression and schizophrenia. No one wants to be around someone who hears voices and is depressed all the time. So, ignore him and he will go away.
Relapse is not part of my story, and it won’t be. I learned how to deal with the voices and the addiction other places, by myself, because no one else was there for me.
Why do I want to subject myself to going to meetings where I only felt more alone?
Meetings are not for everyone, and there are other ways to recover. I don’t need to discuss my 12 step progress with anyone. I don’t need to share where I am, because I learned that no one was really caring about me.
I am glad Adam posted this. I like Adam’s posts because he gives hope to people like me that have to do this on their own without meetings. These posts give me more hope than anything lately.
Feel free to attack, defend and even accuse me of anything you want. There isn’t much more hurt that I can truly feel from this program. I choose to learn why instead of following blindly. Understanding the psychological aspects of addiction is more useful to me than anything else.
November 5 at 2:49pm · Unlike · 7
Dani R I’m there with you, Scott. People insisted for a long time that I didn’t enjoy meetings because I alienated myself. I take partial responsibility for that…but I also feel that a fair number of those who claimed to care (by essentially telling me that extroversion was the only means to an end) could have extended themselves in ways more akin to my introverted nature. I frequently disappear and reappear (sans relapse), and maybe two people consistently check up on me. With all of this said, I don’t expect anyone to go out on a limb for me. I genuinely enjoy spending time alone – I just view it as conflicting and disillusioning when so many members of NA promote this idea of fellowship and unity without actually reaching out beyond their cliques and comfort zones. Then again, that is human nature for ya.
November 5 at 3:07pm · Edited · Unlike · 4
Adam Sledd Scott, thank you. I have many friends who do not attend meetings, and this was for you. It got hijacked by some other good people who have their own points of view. I delete no one and nothing; you are all valid and welcome.
November 5 at 6:49pm · Like · 4
Marc H It’s more about what I find than where I find it. If you find something that works for you, I’d consider you a shitty person if you didn’t say to at least one other human “hey, here’s what worked for me.”
If Jesus got you sober, cool. If it was yoga, …See More